May 12

Q&A – How Do I Overcome My Insecurities?


Q: I am a 39-year-old man and am looking for advice on how to deal with my insecurities.  I love my girlfriend very much but find that my insecurities are getting in the way of enjoying my time with her.  I have scary thoughts that race through my mind.  Are there any tools or techniques I can use to become more secure?
-Michael P.
A: Hi Michael,
First let me thank you for taking the time to send me your question.  I’d also like to congratulate you because the answer to the question you are asking will make you a happier person and a better partner.  Let me also say that you are not alone in your insecurities.  We all have them to some degree, and they are particularly evident when it comes to creating and maintaining relationships.  With that said, let me give you the advice I believe you need the most.
First, if you haven’t already done so, I would suggest that you sit and discuss this issue with your girlfriend.  Second, I strongly recommend counseling.  My latter recommendation is prompted by your use of the word scary.  I don’t know exactly what you mean by scary thoughts, but those two words throw up all kinds of red flags and concerns.  So, if you are truly interested in understanding and controlling these scary thoughts, please investigate them with a trained listener.  It will do you a world of good and will show your girlfriend how much you love her. 

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